blessed enuf??...

okiee.. lemme get it very clear, NOOO i m not in love with sum1 else's love, n NOOOO i dnt pee in public !! shheesshhh !! i m a gal awrite !! how can u even think of askin me dat !!!.. n NOOO i dnt stay confused 24/7.. jus at times wen it seeps into me!!! goddd u need to get a life b4 askin me such questions !

so i thot its high time i update my blog.. got a few requests *thank u thank u* ! lollzz.. anywys, now here i m wonderin wat to pen down this time which will not leave u d urge to ask me silly ques !!..

am i blessed enuf or m i one of those ppl who hav no rights to ask for anythin coz OTHERS think that they already have everythin?? i look around n find ppl happy, smiling n laughin, sumtimes for no apparent reason.. can i do that? be +ve but for wat? friends come n friends go.. they stay, help or even ditch n not feel a thing bout it. but still, i kno ppl who will not b bothered by it.. r they stonehearted or jus hesitant to show wat they actually feel?

i hav hardly been hesitant to show how i feel. n y shud i b reluctant? especially with friends..i mean, they r my frnds after all, if they wudnt understand me then who will? but then even with closest frnds, m i suppose to draw THAT LINE of self control?? draw that line to express myself? but y? if i hav accepted them however they r, who ever they r then even they shud b reciprocating the same rite? well thats wat i guess soo.. but then wat if ur frnds dnt feel the same? wat if the LINE is required?..

tore between the hope to hav more n the satisfaction of already having enuf, i feel that afterall d frndship n kinship, that LINE is important. god knos when u will land up hurtin sum1 whom u never intend to hurt at all... it happens yaa.. mark my word, it always does.. but how do u avoid it?? it can happen to u n it can happen to me too.. but then wat wud u do in such a situation?

life is gr8.. no regrets, well, except a few but those r the obvious ones !!.. nothin out of d new !.. nothin out of the OLD !!.. so if ur life is jus right, will it b wrong to take risks n ask for more? will it b wrong if 1 wants sumthin else instead of the regular cup of tea? well i dnt think so.. but then how far can u go to risk everything u hav n go for sumthin u hav no guarantee of? i kno i kno, any which ways, life mein koi guarantee nahi.. but still, wat WILL u do?

these are few of the things that go on in my head..well, this goes for 24/7 !! lollzzz.. still callin me confused? watever !!!!!!! as if u neva went thru these !!..

byee n takecare
love,
rush...

confusion

hmmm.. this confusion is a really bad state of mind !. it leaves u wonderinf uselessly, aimlessly at things which, by the time everything is over, are not important at all !!..maybe thats wat the whole confusion is all about. it divides your thinking into some weird multiple channels which only produces more n more nonsenseical shit. this i m sure leaves you confused even more. this happens wher you think a lot. dont let your thoughts go galavanting around anywhere. collect them. make a brain scrapbook. let all your thoughts come together so that they dont wander!. they can find a permanent residence in your head. then when all your thoughts settle down, pick up only the good looking, beautiful thoughts. Leave the ugly, aimless thoughts behind for sumthin else, like nightmares ! Beautiful thoughts make you smile. So Smile.

give out a confused dumb little smile if thats all you can provide.but smile. have the guts to strut your confused smile. everyone in the world has a confused smile.. but they dnt flaunt. be proud u also have one. YOU flaunt it. smile. Good. be different. Let your channel of multiple thoughts be on a break. let your brains go blank. confused smile. look dumb. dumber than dumb and dumber! It makes you smile even more. some of the most different and dumbest people are still remembered!. be remembered!. smile in an awkward situation. confused smile. caught with someone else's love, smile. confused smile. peeing in a public place, smile. confused smile. failed, fell, disgraced, just smile. confused smile.go on, do it. i assure you, laughter isnt far away.

laugh at your own sillyness of being with someone else's love. laugh when you will realise how confused you were to actually take someone else's love as you own! how confusing it must be to decide, whether to control or to let it out n relieve in a public place !!!. how difficult it is to fail n face the crowd. but still just laugh.

laugh because you know you are not the only one. make a fool out of yourself because, common, everyone does it unconsciously. YOU on the other hand, should do ut consciously. Reduce your guilt of embarassment. Everyone gets embarassed. YOU accept it. kick those sorrows out of the back alleys of your brain. Land them on your coffee table. Place them in order and get ready. hmm.. cup of coffee, people's eyes ready to stare? good!..now GO!!!.. laugh!!.. common, you can do it.. laugh at your petty issues which disturb you throughout the night.. dont take your life soo seriously that you forget to live in it.. that you forget to smile in those small small things which make your life all the more beautiful. throw away all stupid mistakes.. everyone makes mistakes. use a dumpster if required. laugh at family issues, relationship issues, work issues. point out. "Oh look !how silly that one is", " cant believe i cried that day !!"

do it today.. realise your difference. Be proud. U R DIFFERENT.

welcome to the beginning! the story has just begun.
watch out and laugh!!!...

mwwaahh!!...