YOU choose...

What is better?? heart over mind OR mind over heart??.. u make ample of decisions daily.. from simple ones to some really complicated.. n the best n the most oftenly used option is : leave it for time or 'god' to heal!!.. well, to an extent i understand d time factor healing a person..but 'god' is wat i never understood..!!.. no, i m no atheist or a worshippor of devil or sumthin like dat.. i too believe in d power of 'god'.. but spiritually..mentally.. but somehow it still hinders me to think of 'god' deciding for u.. coz if 'god' was suppose to make decisions for u, why d hell wud he/she put u in dat problem in d 1st place !!!!.( 'she' coz i firmly believe dat 'god' is a female!!!)...

and i m no one to argue with wat other ppl believe in.. to each its own i believe.. its not being rude, its jus that ignorance is bliss.. to put it in better words, i ignore wat i fail to understand , especially when the force is far more in nos and stronger than my beliefs.. but thats not in all cases. i DO try to figure out wat i m not able to understand. but its a simple rule for me there, if i dnt find any practical logic behind it, i chuck it out of my mind.. *ignorance is bliss*.. makes me happy n the opposite party is content.. the world becomes a happy place again !!! lol.. n also, m no Newton to go deep inside the funda of finding out WHY the apple fell, although it was as great as sliced bread, its just not me !!.. so i be with peace with watever i got !

back to the question..its not that i m in some kind of a difficult situation.. its just that a few days back, over a little(little??!!) vod, there was this discussion goin on with my closest frnds which went on for like, d entire night, regarding religion, spirituality, riots,communalism, basis of religions, etc., and somehow, it all came down to wat each one thinks n then we all ultimately hope that its practical enough that a common person will think bout global warming BEFORE thinking bout whos religion is better than the rest of the same !!!!!!...

comments...
byeee..tc...
love,
Rush...

2nd encounter...

So wenever i m on this soul searching/karma improving/aura cleansing phase of my life ( had to b.. since i had no other option last whole month..was completely down health wise!), i always wonder whether everythin wit me is goin well or no... after a long phase of depression i finally found the happiness that can only b defind as contentment wit myslf.. gazing at d bright blue sky ..or d dampened soil of earth, its worth waitn for a moment n reminscing.. n i do dat a lot.. call me a day dreamer or even a lost spirit.. but dats me!.. n its fun to b mee !!! lolz.. wen i m me, i get to think a lot n also ponder upon other things a lot.. although sumtimes its annoyin.. like, gettin up in d middle of d nite jus so dat i can think peacefully !!!!! not dat i m doing that deliberately !!!!

So there is a world where i can actually get watever i want.. so there is a world where everything works my way..so there is a world where i have all the ppl i love n care for so that i dnt hav to see pests like how i do in this world.. there is a world where i m wat i m !!!.. n so wat if the world is in me . makes me happy !!!!! here, i think bout my mistakes so dat i can learn to get up on my own !.. here, i can be happy with myslf for doing things that i like.. n ask me how good it makes me feel ! does it take some strength to make ur own world.. i think it does.. but wen its ready, its all worth it ! as u kno, its important to b at peace with oneself.. its helps to hav own world to attain d peace. Dnt ask me wat strength it requires.. i only know that it does.

all may look incomplete, but look closely, its all there.. complete picture..all u need is to put the jigsaw pieces in order n wallah !!!!!!!...

Encounter with the 'SL'eeper self...

Its funny as to wat all u can do wen u are tryin to sleep but d darn sand master jus wudnt come n pour some sleeping sand on u.. so ur mind wanders n u start gettin all philosophical about life.. d daily day-to-day experience, d casual meetings, etc.. well,i too get all philo-guru types... n was jus wonderin the other day as to wats up wit my life..

well after all d "shit-happens" moments, i realised dat its really gr8 dat i m still very much alive !!!!! d last blink i take b4 sleepin mite turn out to b THE last.. u neva kno.. but wen i get up n with d sleepy eyes i look arnd.. i feel good, honoured dat i m witnessin another day, another miracle of the powers above!!!!! (c, this is exactly d type of philosophy i was talkin bout!!) but newys, i cant ramble a thank u speech everytime i get up.. so i jus behave in a normal, human-ly manner.. I CRIB !!!!

n dats d way it goes.. d daily part n parcel of life.. one goes to sleep all grateful.. n gets up all irritated.. maye coz u had a nightmare, someone woke u up badly-baby cryin,pathetic alarm, phone ringin, ppl talkin laudly, mornin chat shows.. blaah blaah.. but u still cursed d mornin for comin so soon.. coz yeah, u hardly slept !!!.. but u still get up.. takin all the energies n suck them into u jus so dat u can get up !! nooo not a waste of energy , my frnd.. its utility !!!.. u look arnd.. then realise dat u need to b sumwhere.. work, college, school.. anywhere.. n as imagined.. u will b late.. but dats okie !!.. coz u knoooooo... aahhh dats d part of d sadistic plan.. TO ACT LATE so dat ur family gives u d 1st preference for bathrooms, breakfast, etc !!!.. n then u r out !!!!!!!!.. success !!!!!!!

so d day begins.. u slog, gossip, roam , eat, travel, do all sorts of mundane silly n yet outrageous stuffs dat r a part of ur daily routine !!!!... again u come home all tired n before u kno it, its bed A.K.A. philosophical time again.. maybe this time u wont think so much coz u gotta think bout d next days chores.. but still.. i kno.. deep down inside.. there is a guru jus waitin to burst and come out.. !!!!!!..
comments pls..

good nite ye allll !!..
ciao !!..
byee n takecare,
love,
rush...

The metaphor of reality n illusions !...

Life is pretty.. Pretty good, pretty bad..Naaahh. jus pretty.. wit all its ups n downs, it still looks beautiful ..accept it, no matter how much u try to avoid, there WILL be good times with equal share of bad times.. there will be smiles with cries.. there will b a 'loyal' and a 'backstabber'.. there will b a 'forever' and a 'never'.. you cant avoid any of these..

but r u sure u can smile through all of them? no matter how much u try to put up a fake brave smile, there will always be sum1 or the other who will catch u immediately.. watch u laugh for no reason n then wen u turn arnd, will watch u wipe dat tiny tear rollin out of ur moist eye.. n then u turn around to laugh again.. but r questioned by a face with all the possibilities of breakin u down then n there..but brave as u r, u jus smile and say 'nothin'.. no.. its has to be 'everythin' !!.. whats hurtin u soo much dat u cant even afford a genuine smile??..

Its very easy to run away, frm the same problems u take home and go to sleep wit.. frm the same people u r afraid to confront , frm the same desires u r afraid to STAND UP for !!.. n trust me wen i say, i have seen a fair share of ppl doin it all !!.. so afraid, dat they r ready to let go of every special thing in their life jus bcoz of their inability to say the truth.. hiding in the shadows of those who support ur coward act is easy bcoz of the sense of pride they provide u.. but wats difficult is wen ppl ask u to face it.. standing within the shade of cowardness, its easy to forget that yes, u can also b wrong.. n slowly , it creeps onto u.. gettin carried away n proving that u r the most happiest person arnd in spite wat happened to u n bcoz of u..u jus give others a chance to laugh AT u.. n also the fact that u r still a coward.. prompts them to laugh even more.. soo, r the fake, glorious, convincing shadows of d coward world so appealing that u have forgotten that its all just an illusion n d truth is out there.. under d sun.. y r u so scared of the sun, or the sunburnt?? r u so disturbed that u need a fake smile to prove that u r happy??.. dont u know that even if u get a sunburn, its the reality.. dont u want to b at peace with ur inner self n accept that yes, this is wat i deserve..its just d starting steps that r difficult.. life is much easier after facing the fears.. after facing d ppl u run away frm, at least u will know if it was meant to b with u or not?!!!..who knos, mayb the ppl who r promptin u to come out r the same ppl who can help heal ur burns.. honesty hurts..but dats the real deal.. hmm no wonder its not accepted or followed.. TRUTH IS UGLY... ppl r materialistic n thats y lie is so attractive.. so much so that its the source of our happiness.. if u ARE happy then, y r u still thinking about the past and goin back into it.. isnt it a personal decision to behave as if it never existed?! U start hating ppl who throw reality at u,hmm, mayb d thot that u will have to face d gruelling sun scares u n thats y u hide !!!! ohh yeah.. that answers all my questions !!.. my, my !!! A genius dat i m... answering my own philosophical questions !!..

go out there, face the sun..come out of the shadow.. r u sure thats where you want to be for the REST OF YOUR LIFE??? no, rite !...

life is pretty.. GOOD pretty.. for me... i m under the sun.. n its fun because its all real.. hmm mayb its time i find out the illusions i was havin n figure out wer i need to dispose them..

will keep u updated with the illusions too..

dont forget.. comments okie..
loads of love,
byee tc...
rush...

Parting ways...

Parting ways


1) going different ways.
2) away from something/someone u are attached to.
3) not together.

Too many definitions, one meaning - letting go so that one can move on..
Things, people, Memories, Thoughts,etc, - why is it so difficult to part ways from them? Letting go means bringing about a change in you - your life. Change- a spice of life,a mandatory thing that takes place - cant avoid it. Still. Very difficult. to accept. To move on. Very difficult to let go!
Recently i let go of something i was very very attached to. It had a very important place in my life.Although it was related to a chapter of my life which i have closed forever, but still, i was very use to having it around me. but now i hav lost it forever.i have been sulkin since i lost it and cant accept the fact that it isnt with me anymore! it was like a habit that suddenly broke; like a part of me suddenly not existin anymore.terribly hurt for losing something so costly n dearly.BUT - relieved !! cried - yet contented !! Sulking - yet fine !! yes, i do know that it was something i could have avoided but now that it has happened, i have to come to terms with it. Its gone and is never comin back.That chapter of my life does not have any existence for me anymore. GOOD !! Its a change which i m now gettin use to. i always use to get the urge to get rid of it. but i knew i would have never been able to do that. "you can never get rid of things u are soo attached to..let them get rid of it on their own!" i jus said dat to my frnd the other day. it was never in me to get rid of it.And so it happened.....on its own. Out of the blue. Swept me in total shock n numbness! I MISS IT.. a lot. cant stop thinkin about it.but i guess thats how its suppose to be. SO BE IT !!...

R.I.P. - you will always hold a special place in me.

I have also lost a piece of my present time!..it meant a lot to me - Still does!.. It was the only thing that reminded me to move on n go ahead in life. something that made me take a step further - motivated me everyday towards something totally new for me. Something scary,yet exciting - like a territory i never thought i'd enter. But this helped me to go where i would shudder to go otherwise. now i have lost that too!!...(sorrrryyyy)...

Since past two months or more, i have lost out on a lot, people especially!!.. but what i lost now has left me truly devastated..like never before !..torn me into pieces..the rope to which i was clinging on to has broken. yet, i m ok!.. Coz wat i am left withmay not be something that i m use to, but is definitely the best i could ever get. so i have to start again and - I AM READY!!!!.. one has to face a lot of sadness, difficulties n troubles before reachin to the peak of happiness.. now i m beginning to think i m gettin pretty close to the peak..so maybe it is true,that, watever happens, happens for the best!!...

P.S. : thanks for being there when i went all ballistic on losing something so foolish yet important..You are the best and cant thank you enough for tolerating me n taking my crap.Many a times i do act difficult but i dont mean to be so. but knowing the fact that you are around to to take care of me and catch me when i fall, gives me more strength to carry on in life!...


***** VIRTUAL HUGS N KISSES*****

blessed enuf??...

okiee.. lemme get it very clear, NOOO i m not in love with sum1 else's love, n NOOOO i dnt pee in public !! shheesshhh !! i m a gal awrite !! how can u even think of askin me dat !!!.. n NOOO i dnt stay confused 24/7.. jus at times wen it seeps into me!!! goddd u need to get a life b4 askin me such questions !

so i thot its high time i update my blog.. got a few requests *thank u thank u* ! lollzz.. anywys, now here i m wonderin wat to pen down this time which will not leave u d urge to ask me silly ques !!..

am i blessed enuf or m i one of those ppl who hav no rights to ask for anythin coz OTHERS think that they already have everythin?? i look around n find ppl happy, smiling n laughin, sumtimes for no apparent reason.. can i do that? be +ve but for wat? friends come n friends go.. they stay, help or even ditch n not feel a thing bout it. but still, i kno ppl who will not b bothered by it.. r they stonehearted or jus hesitant to show wat they actually feel?

i hav hardly been hesitant to show how i feel. n y shud i b reluctant? especially with friends..i mean, they r my frnds after all, if they wudnt understand me then who will? but then even with closest frnds, m i suppose to draw THAT LINE of self control?? draw that line to express myself? but y? if i hav accepted them however they r, who ever they r then even they shud b reciprocating the same rite? well thats wat i guess soo.. but then wat if ur frnds dnt feel the same? wat if the LINE is required?..

tore between the hope to hav more n the satisfaction of already having enuf, i feel that afterall d frndship n kinship, that LINE is important. god knos when u will land up hurtin sum1 whom u never intend to hurt at all... it happens yaa.. mark my word, it always does.. but how do u avoid it?? it can happen to u n it can happen to me too.. but then wat wud u do in such a situation?

life is gr8.. no regrets, well, except a few but those r the obvious ones !!.. nothin out of d new !.. nothin out of the OLD !!.. so if ur life is jus right, will it b wrong to take risks n ask for more? will it b wrong if 1 wants sumthin else instead of the regular cup of tea? well i dnt think so.. but then how far can u go to risk everything u hav n go for sumthin u hav no guarantee of? i kno i kno, any which ways, life mein koi guarantee nahi.. but still, wat WILL u do?

these are few of the things that go on in my head..well, this goes for 24/7 !! lollzzz.. still callin me confused? watever !!!!!!! as if u neva went thru these !!..

byee n takecare
love,
rush...

confusion

hmmm.. this confusion is a really bad state of mind !. it leaves u wonderinf uselessly, aimlessly at things which, by the time everything is over, are not important at all !!..maybe thats wat the whole confusion is all about. it divides your thinking into some weird multiple channels which only produces more n more nonsenseical shit. this i m sure leaves you confused even more. this happens wher you think a lot. dont let your thoughts go galavanting around anywhere. collect them. make a brain scrapbook. let all your thoughts come together so that they dont wander!. they can find a permanent residence in your head. then when all your thoughts settle down, pick up only the good looking, beautiful thoughts. Leave the ugly, aimless thoughts behind for sumthin else, like nightmares ! Beautiful thoughts make you smile. So Smile.

give out a confused dumb little smile if thats all you can provide.but smile. have the guts to strut your confused smile. everyone in the world has a confused smile.. but they dnt flaunt. be proud u also have one. YOU flaunt it. smile. Good. be different. Let your channel of multiple thoughts be on a break. let your brains go blank. confused smile. look dumb. dumber than dumb and dumber! It makes you smile even more. some of the most different and dumbest people are still remembered!. be remembered!. smile in an awkward situation. confused smile. caught with someone else's love, smile. confused smile. peeing in a public place, smile. confused smile. failed, fell, disgraced, just smile. confused smile.go on, do it. i assure you, laughter isnt far away.

laugh at your own sillyness of being with someone else's love. laugh when you will realise how confused you were to actually take someone else's love as you own! how confusing it must be to decide, whether to control or to let it out n relieve in a public place !!!. how difficult it is to fail n face the crowd. but still just laugh.

laugh because you know you are not the only one. make a fool out of yourself because, common, everyone does it unconsciously. YOU on the other hand, should do ut consciously. Reduce your guilt of embarassment. Everyone gets embarassed. YOU accept it. kick those sorrows out of the back alleys of your brain. Land them on your coffee table. Place them in order and get ready. hmm.. cup of coffee, people's eyes ready to stare? good!..now GO!!!.. laugh!!.. common, you can do it.. laugh at your petty issues which disturb you throughout the night.. dont take your life soo seriously that you forget to live in it.. that you forget to smile in those small small things which make your life all the more beautiful. throw away all stupid mistakes.. everyone makes mistakes. use a dumpster if required. laugh at family issues, relationship issues, work issues. point out. "Oh look !how silly that one is", " cant believe i cried that day !!"

do it today.. realise your difference. Be proud. U R DIFFERENT.

welcome to the beginning! the story has just begun.
watch out and laugh!!!...

mwwaahh!!...